


Broken Bird

by LiraelClayr007



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Endverse, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 05:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiraelClayr007/pseuds/LiraelClayr007
Summary: Things were different, before. He prayed to me, I answered.I always listened. Always made time for him. At first because I felt responsible, because I’d held his broken pieces in my hands and woven them back together with bits of stardust and strings of hope. And partly because he was my mission, and I was built to obey.Cas thinks about his complicated relationship with Dean, and how it's changed (and how it hasn't) over time.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	Broken Bird

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bend_me_shape_me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bend_me_shape_me/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Vanessa!!!
> 
> I set out to write you something fluffy and sweet. This...well, this is _not_ it. But I know you like endverse so hopefully it's okay. And my next fluffy thing will be dedicated to you!! 😉
> 
> Have a most excellent birthday, my friend and number one cheerleader. 💙

_Please don’t leave me alone._

_Cas, I--_

_Please._

Things were different, before. He prayed to me, I answered.

I always listened. Always made time for him. At first because I felt responsible, because I’d held his broken pieces in my hands and woven them back together with bits of stardust and strings of hope. And partly because he was my mission, and I was built to obey.

But it became more, over time. I longed for the twinges of prayer, to flutter my wings and see his startled face when I was suddenly there. Sometimes it was hard to stifle that laugh that wanted to bubble up out of my throat at his exclamations of surprise.

And there was something in his eyes. Did mine mirror his? Was it longing? Was it...love? Angels are supposed to love God’s creation, to protect it, to shepherd it. But this love..this was not the love of a shepherd for his sheep, of a protector for hsi charge. This was warm and bright, more powerful than anything I’d felt in millennia.

But now… He doesn’t call me anymore. Not that I can hear prayers these days, but he barely asks anything of me. Only that I’m here when he needs that release. I always give willingly; there is no way to fill the gaping hole left when my grace was torn away, but giving myself to Dean at least gives me some purpose. Because without purpose I’m only an empty vessel. A broken bird.

Still. Sometimes he stays. If I ask, and he’s in the right mood, he’ll stay until just before the sun comes up, and I can imagine I know what it feels like to be loved, and whole.

And I think he does care for me, in his way. He’s more himself with me than with anyone else. Sometimes I see glimpses of the old Dean. A hint of a smile, a melody hummed under his breath. And on the best days he talks to me about days gone by. Never about Sam, there’s too much pain there. Too much grief. But about what the world was like, before.

Maybe things haven’t changed that much after all. I still listen. I still give Dean whatever time he needs. I still answer when he calls.

_Please don’t leave me alone._

_Cas, I--_

_Please. Dean, Please._

_...Alright._


End file.
